gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize