we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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