When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
