I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
