There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
