I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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