last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Randomize
