maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
