you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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