next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Randomize