Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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