Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
