i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
COCAINE IS GR8
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
