She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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