whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
