Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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