A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize