mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
