you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
