I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
