Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
