do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize