I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
