seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You took a bar mat shot.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
