i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
