How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
