He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
