"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
