This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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