So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
