In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
