shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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