i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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