SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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