he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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