I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
