Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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