Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
