Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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