Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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