After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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