i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
