There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
