I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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