Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
