apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize