he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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