At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
tell me about the eggs
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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