This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
