oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
