doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I love having hate sex.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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