i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
