it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
