Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
