Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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