i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
