I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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