handjob tips. give me some.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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