North Korea, Best Korea!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
