I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize