Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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