Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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