when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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