So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
