My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
