I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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