Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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