it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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